Long Essay Draft #2

The Gamer

            There are times when I will occasionally reflect upon my life’s experiences.  More often than not, I will typically reflect upon my life as I know it best; the life of a gamer.  I grew up around games most of my life.  As a little kid, I was constantly playing games every day after coming home from school.  There’s not much else to tell about that side of the story to my life as a gamer, other than that there are not many lessons learned, and little information gathered from what I played.

            But this isn’t about that side of the story.  This…is about what I learned from the lessons and consequences of a life of gaming.

            I was just a naïve little boy who daydreamed about nothing else except my videogames.  My overactive imagination was constantly replaying everything I had accomplished in my games each day after school and each night before bedtime.  I never once thought about the toll playing videogames had on my academic life…or even my social life and health.

            It all started with a day that I most likely will never forget and changed my life.  Looking back on it now, I still remember it clearly, the emotions I felt on that day…as well as the lessons I learned that day.

            It was the beginning of a new school year, the morning of first day in third grade.  Nothing was out of the ordinary when I woke up just minutes before my father waked in to wake me up.  ‘Summer vacation is over,’ I thought to myself as I sat up in bed and rubbed my eyes clear of the blurry clouds.

            “Get up, get dressed and come down stairs,” my father said as he opened the door and briefly glanced at me before he turned around and walked a few steps down the hall, then turned and descended the stairs to the main floor of our house.

            Well, I thought it was an ordinary day…but my dad’s entrance into my room turned that morning into anything but ordinary.

            His usual entrance was off; there was something different about him.  That brief glance he gave me and the tone he spoke in was all I needed to know that he was very angry.  So, I climb out of bed, wondering what had happened that he was so angry this morning.

            As I got dressed, I could hear my parents talking quietly with one another from the kitchen.  I may not be a good listener for my age, but I had good hearing.  But as I slowly and quietly walked down the stairs, I could hear in my mother’s voice the same anger my father had spoken in.  The same tone.

            I entered the kitchen.

            That feeling you got as a kid when you’re not quite sure what’s going on, but you somehow know that you’re in trouble…well, that feeling overcame me the moment I stepped into the threshold of the kitchen.  And to make the morning even more out of the ordinary, my dog didn’t even get up to greet me.  One of the many signs I learned as a kid to recognize as an indicator that something was wrong.

            The air was tense the moment I stepped in.  I –very- briefly glanced down at my dog; he appeared as if he had just been yelled at by my father.

            My mother stood leaning against the island in the center of the kitchen, her arms folded in front of her as she looked at me with furrowed eyebrows and the corners of her mouth turned downwards into a frown.  She was upset.

            “Sit down,” my father ordered in a firm, strict tone as he pointed to the chair adjacent to his at the table.

            That sinking feeling you got as a kid when you knew were in big trouble.  It fell upon me like an elephant sitting down on my shoulders.

            I cautiously take my seat in the chair next to him and look up at him.  His ears were red, his lips tight and his eyebrows furrowed together.  He was very angry indeed.  And he didn’t even wait to give me a speech about how angry and upset he was with me for something I didn’t even know I had done wrong.  He cut straight to the chase.

            “You’re grounded,” he said bluntly.  I stared blankly at him, unsure of what I should be feeling; I didn’t have the slightest clue as to why I was being grounded.  I was thoroughly confused.  “No more videogames, no more tv, no more internet, ever!” he exclaimed slightly red-faced while whipping his hands to the side of him, indicating that what he was saying was final.

            Growing up as a kid in this family, I had come to recognize my dad’s hand signals and facial expressions very well.  And when those hand signals and facial expressions are directed at me, I knew that I had absolutely no say in anything.

            “Do you know why we are grounding you?” my mother asked angrily in Polish.  I only glanced at her sideways, not able to answer, as I was still trying to process what the hell was going on.  ‘What did I do?’ I kept asking myself.  I thought back to the days and week before this day, tried very hard to remember if there was anything I had done to give them reason to be angry with me.  But nothing came up.  I was completely lost.  This was a whole new experience for me…and it was the most unpleasant experience I’ve ever had as a kid.

            “The school just called,” my father said.  I turned my eyes back to his angry face, still unable to understand what was going on.  “You’re not going to be in third grade this year,” he stated firmly.

            The mix of emotions after hearing those words then still comes through even today.  Confusion, surprise, disappointment and sadness.  But the confusion and surprise were the most prominent.

            “What?” I finally managed to blurt out.  “Why?”  I was dumbfounded.  I could feel a knot finally forming within my throat and the sensation developing behind my eyes that always happened just before I start crying.

            My father furrowed his eyebrows further, almost wrinkling his nose and clenched his jaw.  “Because you didn’t do well in your classes last year.”  The air around me grew thick and my ears began to burn as the weight of realization of what was going on finally began to crash upon me.

 

(Will most likely continue with this draft.  It's not finished, far from finished.  Still A LOT more I plan on adding.)